“Gay people already have a harder time dating,” he explains. In his eyes, it all boils down to how women use the app. “I’m not sure how long exactly, but it’s definitely been happening for at least two or three years,” he writes via DM. Tom, a pseudonym, authored one of these posts after he started seeing women pop up. Unsurprisingly, it’s not hard to find posts written by gays annoyed at the mere presence of women on Grindr. When she declined, explaining she tops guys for cash as a dominatrix, they would “throw a hissy fit and report me!” Before long, she had been banned for soliciting. “I got a lot of attention from lazy bottoms who wanted me to bone them into next week,” she says. “I’ve also spoken to a lot of people who enjoy dressing up for pleasure about makeup and feminine attire - I’m no expert, but I certainly know a thing or two.” Ultimately, she knew she was on Grindr for one reason - to potentially fool around with like-minded, horny queers. “People who know me as Holestar would pop up and say hi, thinking it was hilarious,” she continues. That said, she did have some sweeter interactions. “Some were curious as to why I was there, others were straight-up vile and shouty,” she recalls of the guys who would berate her simply for being a woman on Grindr. Her reception was mixed, to say the least.
I was hoping to meet open-minded bi or pansexual people who are cool with my lifestyle.” “I haven’t had any cock for 12 years - it’s easy to get tired of men when their desires are your job - but I thought I’d dip my toes back in via Grindr. “I first used Grindr about eight years ago, when I got interested in swinging and alternative sexual lifestyles,” says London-based Holestar, a cis queer woman who also self-defines as a “gender-bending fruitcake” (she’s also a drag legend and a seasoned dominatrix). In such a thirsty, queer male environment, how do these women fare? Yet despite this strictly dickly reputation, the app has been technically open to women - both cis and trans - since 2017. More than a decade later, the app is a cornerstone of gay culture and a one-stop shop for anonymous hole pics. Marketed specifically at gay men, the app embraced the idea of being horny on main by using a location-based system, designed to connect guys with thirsty twinks and tops in their area. When gay hookup app Grindr first launched back in 2009, dating apps were still in their infancy.